This week has just been full of realizations, and it’s only Tuesday! This is probably a direct extension of yesterday’s realization that I need to make my own happiness, but this morning I realized/ decided it’s time I decide “what I want to be when I grow up” and start working toward that. Plus, I need to find a new job (sooner than later) because coming to work just depresses me these days.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s not that I hate my job; it’s not even that I dislike my job. As far as Corporate America goes, my company is pretty great. My co-workers are usually fantastic, and generally office morale is pretty high. It’s not that the work itself is that bad either. It’s just that brokering insurance is not what I want to do with the rest of my life. It’s just that I want to be one of those people that loves my job. I want to feel like I’m making a difference in the world; like what I’m doing actually matters. I’m not looking to save the world, but I want to feel like maybe what I’m doing is making it a little better for someone else. Insurance just doesn’t do that.
Plus, I’ve always known cubicle life isn’t for me. There’s a reason I went to school for teaching. Unfortunately, I didn’t love teaching English either. The problem is I only seem to know what I don’t want to do. I don’t seem to have any ideas as to what I do want to do. I do know I want to go back to school, but I’m not even sure what I would like to pursue. I’m interested in so many things it makes it hard to focus: health and wellness, communications, gender studies, education and general sociology. I think any job/ graduate program that would allow me to combine all these things would be my dream. (I am open to suggestions of course.)
I need to do something though. This is an important part of making my own happiness.